


A Night... Reversed

by Arisprite



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fugue style writing, Gen, M/M, Mood Whiplash, Musically that is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 14:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5131472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arisprite/pseuds/Arisprite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first night Fai spent with the travellers was full of choking fear and anguish that he hid under a smile. A later night, shows how much has turned on its head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Night... Reversed

**Author's Note:**

> From the section break, you can see the patterns from the first section repeated in reverse, like a counter fugue in music. I actually know nothing about muscial theory.

Don’t stop to ponder, don’t stop to think. Smile. Laugh. Do what you’ve always done when panic shakes in your breast, and emotions choke your throat. It’s what’s expected of you, what’s normal. Don’t think. Don’t think. 

Fai knew that if he sat down once, if he stopped talking or teasing or grinning, he would shatter beyond recognition. Not that there was anyone left who’d recog- no stop. 

He had to keep moving, laughing, poking fun at these stranger he’d be traveling with, forever, since he could never - stop thinking. 

Let these people think he was a fool. Make the man yell, because it was fun, and distracting, and while Kuro-chan, or Kuro-rin, or Kuro-pon was yelling, Fai couldn’t think about other things, like how grief and fear and pain were seizing Fai’s chest, and he had to smile or he’d sob. 

Keep moving, keep moving. 

There was the witch, and the shop and the wish, and she took the king’s gift, the one he’d gotten from _him_ \- There were the children, the boy and the sleeping girl and their sad story. There was travelling through dimensions, and a new world, and exciting things to see and do, and people to meet, and it all pounded, pounding out the bad feelings and he could forget for moments at a time. 

Until he found himself in a stranger’s guest room, with two pallets on the ground, and he and the stranger warrior who yelled when he called him silly names were expected to share the space for the rest of the quiet night. And Fai was terrified. 

Nights were always the worst. The dark, the silence, it reminded him of times he’d rather forget (the dead piled around him, and the cold and stillness, with his twin too high above him to speak to…). And now he had new memories to try to escape from when darkness fell, memories of all he’d lost (his king, and father figure, and the monster killing his people, and Ashura standing amidst the blood of everyone he knew, begging him to kill him). 

It had only been a day, or less that he’d sealed away Ashura’s sleeping form, and he couldn’t handle the quiet. With no distraction, the thoughts flooded him.

It was a waking nightmare. 

Fai didn’t lay down. He sat, curled against the corner opposite from where Kurogane crouched, and breathed. He wouldn’t fall asleep. He hoped he could distract himself someway, enough to stay calm. 

“Kuro-rin, are you still awake?” Fai asked softly, keeping the trembling from his voice with difficulty.

Kurogane shifted and grumbled. 

“What?” he demanded. 

Fai clasped his hands together in his lap, curling his arms close to his side. It was dark enough that Fai didn’t think that Kurogane could see his defensive position, or the pallor of his face. It’s not like Kurogane knew him well enough to worry something was wrong. 

“We should get to know each other~ After all, we’re going to be traveling together. Can’t we be friends?” Fai fluttered.

“I don’t want to be friends. Shut up and go to sleep.” Kurogane’s eyes were closed again, and he was leaning back against the wall. Guess neither of them was going to use the pallet. 

Fai didn’t bother protesting, sinking back into his curl, arms beginning to tremble and eyes burning with tears he would not shed.

~

Fai sank down into the pallet covers, in a loose curl to hide the way his arms were trembling with exertion and his eyes burned with happy tears. 

Kurogane leaned back as well, eyes closing. He dragged Fai closer, snuggling his face into Fai’s neck, and making him squeak. 

“Kuro-chan,” Fai admonished, and Kurogane hushed him. 

“Shut up and go to sleep,” he mumbled. 

Fai smiled, and fluttered his eyelashes against the hollow of Kurogane’s throat. 

“Isn’t this the part we whisper sweet nothings to each other, to get to know each as more than friends?” Fai fluttered. 

Kurogane shifted, gave him an askance look. “What?” It made Fai laugh, and he kissed his cheek, before Kurogane grumbled, and turned around. Fai put his arms around the other man comfortably, cuddling up to his warm back. The dark was velvety and quiet. 

“Kuro-rin, are you awake?” Fai murmured after a while. Kurogane’s back was shifting, as the man breathed deeply, rhythmically. 

Kuro-love had told him to sleep, but Fai couldn’t, his heart was too full. He hoped he could distract himself enough to stay calm, even though Kurogane’s warm skin was right beside his, still damp with sweat. He didn’t want to fall asleep, not with Kurogane in his arms.

It was like a dream. 

It had only been a day, a night, since he and Kurogane had confirmed their love for each other, though each had know it for ages. The silence was broken by their breaths, and previously other noises, delicious noises that neither had heard from the other. During the day, with stolen kisses, and hidden smiles, it had been wonderful. But Fai liked the night best. 

In a strange room, with two pallets pushed together, Fai smiled and rolled closer to the broad back in front of him, happy to share the space. He pressed his lips to a muscular shoulder blade. To think a strange warrior, who he’d called silly names and teased from the get go, would become… this. 

Through his past, through the witch, and the shop and the wish and a tattoo given in payment- with the children’s happy smiles, and traveling through dimensions, and new worlds and new and exciting things to see and do, through it all, they’d come together. He remembered for moments at a time, that Kurogane loved him. 

Stay, stay. 

That’s what Kurogane had whispered to him. And joy and love and gratitude seized in his chest, and Fai had to laugh or he’d sob. 

He didn’t deserve - no stop. He wasn’t good enough- stop. 

Fai wanted to keep moving, to keep teasing and laughing and loving with this man forever. 

Everything he wanted was right here. 

And now he could stop to ponder, stop to think about his luck, his love, his dearest ones and when adoration trembled in his breast, he could laugh. With complete sincerity, and emotions choking his throat, he thought of Kurogane and smiled.


End file.
